Moving Forward
by crazywriter99
Summary: Lily is moving on from her best friend Severus, but hurt still lingers. She wants to start fresh in her Sixth Year at Hogwarts, and she has her friends with her, but there is someone missing, and it might sneak up on her how she really feels about the Marauders... Requires background knowledge of Hogwarts and Magic.


Prologue

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**The Prologue is Lily's POV, then the rest is third person. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer- Only the parts you don't know are mine! Promise! A lot of quotes from this chapter are from the 5th and 7th Harry Potter books, but I just wanted a good starting point.**

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I let the warm summer sun bask over me. O.W.L.S were done, over. I didn't need to worry about them again until results came, and so I really wished Mary and Emmeline would stop fretting over question 19. They were done. We were done. After all those weeks of studying, and then the stressful O.W.L.S themselves, we needed a well-deserved break. I was going to suggest that we sneak into the kitchens later when an unmistakable voice echoed across the grounds to where we sat beside the lake.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"

James Potter.

My head spun to find the group of people gathered over by the forests edge. Mary and Emmeline looked at me nervously; they recognized the voice as well.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

That equally recognizable voice made it clear what was going on.

Sirius Black.

She heard Severus, her best friend, try to say something but didn't catch the words.

"Wait for what?" I growled at Sirius' voice, he thought he was so cool, "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

I leapt to my feet, well aware of what was going to happen next.

"Wash your mouth. _Scourgify!"_

I ran, pushing through the crowds of people watching, they were sick.

"Leave him ALONE!" I shrieked as I entered the clearing.

And of course the arrogant boy's hand jumped immediately to his messy hair, "All right Evans?"

Did he really think it was alright, didn't he know me at all?

"Leave him alone," I gave my least favorite person at Hogwarts a cold glare, "What's he done to you?"

"Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…."

Why was this so amusing to everyone? People might not _love_ Slytherins, but how could they find this arrogance funny!?

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone._"

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on…. Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." The nerve of Potter

I held my breath for a minute before responding, "I wouldn't go out with you if it was choice between you and the giant squid." Had I actually considered saying yes for a second? No, it was just thinking about Sev.

I barely heard as Sirius continued briskly. I was watching Sev fight the Impedimenta jinx Potter must have cast. He grabbed his wand and sliced at Potter. For a moment I was just another person in the crowds, watching as Potter checked the blood coming from his robes and as Sev was hung upside down. I almost laughed before I remembered that Sev was my best friend.

"Let him down!" I spit.

"Certainly." The cocky idiot knew that wasn't what I meant as I watched Sev hit the ground hard. A few more spells were cast.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" How many times had I said that in the past few years? More than I could count.

"Evans, don't make me hex you." Was it just me or did he actually look apologetic.

"Take the curse off him, then!" What curse were we talking about again?

Sev clambered to his feet, obviously trying to get to his wand. Didn't he realize he was feeding the fires?

"You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus…"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her."

I froze, and a moment seemed to feel like an eternity. Had he really just called me that? The one thing he had always sworn I wasn't? I had heard it before from Sev's 'friends' but him? I could hardly remember what I was saying afterwards, but all I could remember was James' hurt face and him yelling after me.

Mudblood. The word pounded against the inside of my brain, an echo of Severus' voice.

Mary and Emmeline were calling for me, but I had broken into a sprint, rushing past the few students not taking advantage of the perfect weather. The Fat Lady spluttered indignantly as I shouted at her, and the next thing I knew I was sobbing into my pillow. My other friend, Marlene Mackinnon, stroked my hair, asking what was wrong, but my voice couldn't be heard past the sobs that racked my body.

I thought he had been my friend, I thought that he wasn't like his little friends, slipping me notes with threats and insults. He was just as bad, but I had been too stupid to see it. How is it that the people we love the most blind us more than anyone else? I should have guessed this was coming; he had spent less and less time with me, and whenever I saw him with his Slytherin pals, and he never said a word to me. I should have known.

Mary came back. I heard her shushing me, comforting me, while Emmeline explain what happened to Marlene. Their anger was heard more and more clearly as my crying reduced, and soon I was sitting up, talking sadly to my friends.

"You're not an idiot Lils," Emmeline took my hand, "We all thought Snape was different, especially seeing how close you were."

"I thought he was awful the whole time," Marlene muttered, but Emmeline elbowed her in the ribs.

"I should have seen it," My voice was dull, my anger and sadness evaporated, replaced with sheer exhaustion, "He never treated me the same after I didn't agree with what happened in the Whomping Willow."

There was a knock on the door and a small first year stepped in, whispering something to Mary before she scurried away.

"What is it?" I looked away from the spot on the wall she had been contemplating.

"Nothing." Mary was a terrible liar.

"What?"

"Well…" Mary cleared her throat excessively and fiddled with the button on her cloak, "Snape is outside the common room. He wants to talk to you and-"

Mary looked away again but my gaze caught hers, "And what?"

"He's threatening to sleep outside if he has to."

The other girls winced. They knew this would trigger my guilt. I can't help it, so as expected I left the room and the common room. I felt my fellow Gryffindors watching me, gossip travels faster than a Patronus in this school.

Sev looked nervous, yet excited to see me. I felt nothing.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

I could see the hurt on his face, but that was nothing compared to what he put me through with one word.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends," I spit out the words, and Sev looked like he wanted to argue but I didn't let him, "you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No-listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me a Mudblood? But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

This question stumped him. I wasn't any different, except for the fact that we were friends, and his _new_ friends didn't let that stop them from threatening me. He shrunk away from the look I gave him, a look that said everything, and left.

All of my roommates sat up waiting for me, even outspoken Dorcas Meadowes. Everyone said that Dorcas was the best witch in their years, after me, but I think she's better than me. I think she's a better witch than most of the school, and we always joked about how she should be in Ravenclaw.

"Are you okay?" Marlene asked me hesitantly as I changed into my nightclothes.

"I'm fine." She didn't look convinced. "Really Marls, I'm perfect, I got everything off my back tonight."

I slipped under the covers.

"What's going to happen with you two from now on," Emmeline sat on the edge of her bed, facing directly towards me.

"It's done Em," I whispered, "I never want to see him again."

There was silence.

"Good," Marlene was firm, and I could see they all agreed. Why hadn't I, I could have spared myself. Instead I stood up for him, and he betrayed me.

They went to change with a few words of comfort when they saw my fatigue. I knew that I had done the right thing. The only friends I needed were right here, in this room.

Thank god Fifth Year is over.

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**Happy Thanksgiving! I'll try to come with the 1st Chapter soon!**

**-Trina**


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